i admit

Hello fellow people, my name is Celeste, and It has been 3 months since my last blog, therefore I am a habitual, procrastinating, forgetful mother in formation....and therefore have become a continuous Proverbs reader. In search of wisdom, knowledge...for strength.

Since last, It has been an endeavoring,challenging and nail biting experience of whacking out the hormones vs. reality. Finding out men actually do need instructions to everything, and are NOT wired the same way as what we would love to fantasise about.
It was with great expectant and awesome joy to have found out that it will be another little XY chromosome that will occupy our lives from the 9th of March 2011, and that this Beany Boy Momma, will have to haul out all the preconceived ideas of having a little companion on my beauty sprees, although deep within me, I somehow had that gnawing gut feeling...it would be a little man.

Beany Boy Pappa, will most definitely have a fellow reverse engineer...and have an explanation of everything dissected, proven already decades ago by our most inventive forefathers. Igniting, exploding, catapulting and launching every available imaginative detail in sprawling laughter...and love.

In all this, I've also come to the conclusion that most of all- The inner fighting inertia, rebellion and anger bred into us as South Africans towards our political era, back "home" is all worthless without the common enemy, for there is none really, here.

There's no extra third eye necessary to watch for taxi's skipping robots, driving on the N14 at night and fearing for a brick that usually is thrown off the Jean or Malibongwe (Hans Strijdom) bridges, just to terrorize and water the seeds of deception that undisciplined democracy has planted.
However, this is what is the bond between us all. Perception vs Reality.
Others perceive it as just another African Country, but the difference is, Rooibos grows there..But in reality, carefully played and manipulated poverty, so that those that practice nepotism, polygamy, gluttony and undisciplined indulgences get away with it all. Thus employing the court jester, so that the evil town sheriff may get away on an alibi....is this not an old divide and conquer strategy?
Thus hoping in a Robin Hood, that could find a Merlin to shake a bolt of lightning loose to make hasty ash of those who dare. I wish, I truly, truly wish...but alas...it is a Grimm Tale but without an oven to toss the evil witch/s into.

Therefore, in the true spirit of Thanksgiving, I am thankful, I can sit here at my desk in my fortunate state of mind, in a First world country, knowing that Uncle Sam, unfortunately is able to stick his nose wherever he may like to....and it is shocking to know that it can only take one Aircraft Carrier to my home country to show that the whole Air-force put together in that specific country would be as useless as trying to explain what a hermaphrodite is to my home countries court jester..... Thus I feel saddened...with so much potential, what has happened....fools have rushed in, and made fools of fools arguing with fools, that touch each other on their studio's.

And here I end my post with the following wise words from an Ancient King inspired by Wisdom
Proverbs 3

Guidance for the Young

¹ My son, do not forget my law,

But let your heart keep my commands;
² For length of days and long life
And peace they will add to you.
³ Let not mercy and truth forsake you;
Bind them around your neck,
Write them on the tablet of your heart,
⁴ And so find favor and high esteem
In the sight of God and man.
⁵ Trust in the LORD with all your heart,
And lean not on your own understanding;
⁶ In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He shall direct^a]">[a] your paths.
⁷ Do not be wise in your own eyes;
Fear the LORD and depart from evil.
⁸ It will be health to your flesh,^b]">[b]
And strength^c]">[c] to your bones.
⁹ Honor the LORD with your possessions,
And with the firstfruits of all your increase;
¹⁰ So your barns will be filled with plenty,
And your vats will overflow with new wine.
¹¹ My son, do not despise the chastening of the LORD,
Nor detest His correction;
¹² For whom the LORD loves He corrects,
Just as a father the son in whom he delights.
¹³ Happy is the man who finds wisdom,
And the man who gains understanding;
¹⁴ For her proceeds are better than the profits of silver,
And her gain than fine gold.
¹⁵ She is more precious than rubies,
And all the things you may desire cannot compare with her.
¹⁶ Length of days is in her right hand,
In her left hand riches and honor.
¹⁷ Her ways are ways of pleasantness,
And all her paths are peace.
¹⁸ She is a tree of life to those who take hold of her,
And happy are all who retain her.
¹⁹ The LORD by wisdom founded the earth;
By understanding He established the heavens;
²⁰ By His knowledge the depths were broken up,
And clouds drop down the dew.
²¹ My son, let them not depart from your eyes—
Keep sound wisdom and discretion;
²² So they will be life to your soul
And grace to your neck.
²³ Then you will walk safely in your way,
And your foot will not stumble.
²⁴ When you lie down, you will not be afraid;
Yes, you will lie down and your sleep will be sweet.
²⁵ Do not be afraid of sudden terror,
Nor of trouble from the wicked when it comes;
²⁶ For the LORD will be your confidence,
And will keep your foot from being caught.
²⁷ Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due,
When it is in the power of your hand to do so.
²⁸ Do not say to your neighbor,

“ Go, and come back,
And tomorrow I will give it,”
When you have it with you.
²⁹ Do not devise evil against your neighbor,
For he dwells by you for safety’s sake.
³⁰ Do not strive with a man without cause,
If he has done you no harm.
³¹ Do not envy the oppressor,
And choose none of his ways;
³² For the perverse person is an abomination to the LORD,
But His secret counsel is with the upright.
³³ The curse of the LORD is on the house of the wicked,
But He blesses the home of the just.
³⁴ Surely He scorns the scornful,
But gives grace to the humble.
³⁵ The wise shall inherit glory,
But shame shall be the legacy of fools.

Amen

The pregnant pregosaurus phase

Indeed, we as women, should have an instinctive way of knowing. The absolute sense that when you feeling not quite yourself...somethings happening!!

Not expecting the unexpected is what usually blind sights, You think you know - until reality swots you.

Since the last time i actually had the guts to put something down, I was still coming to terms with the little kidney bean, now progressing faster and faster into a miniature little human with fingerprints and all. Me...whoa!!! really..noooooooo.....it's fake... until you hear the little heartbeat, at the very first sonar, and your eyes well up with tears and you can't believe that that is going to be a future family member, you're going to throw birthday parties for, you're going to want to strangle at sometime, but that you will grow to love more than life.

In this whole expanse called the world, called the universe.....you now know, why God wanted woman to carry his future soldiers.... in love and nurturing they see Gods heart. And understand compassion, the compassion that surpasses any understanding of anything less than civilized.

Though - the nausea, the aches and pains the moodswings including depression hang like a weight around your neck..in the end that weight turns to a medal, it's the perseverance and love of others that counts as well. You tend to take a look, and see others have made it.. you can too....
The emotional side....well, hormones are great to blame.....and sorry, it doesn't matter how gentle spirited you are....the best turns into the most ferocious...and for my behaviour...i apologise in advance already...my husband, thank you for being long-suffering..
Remember come bearing food - and all is forgiven ;).

One thing that I've learned to really appreciate is the countless efforts of love, comments and little remedies that I've come to hear from plenty of people. And for them I am thankful.
Here's to all my predecessors....
You conquered and you help.
Thank you

The Flight, delightful

On my scale 1 - 10, reality and realisation always happen to end up on a 2. USA totally hit me while I was on the flight from OR Tambo International to Atlanta, Georgia...
Adrenaline has this amazing way of taking control - until you are out of the situation, and then wham! As if a melon hit the front screen of your car. Reality hits home.

Not really knowing the actual seating arrangements on board the DL201 flight on Saturday, the evening. To my dismay... bang in the very middle of the aircraft, in between, a very irate woman that could not get into business class, and a mexican person on my right, who, for the life of me, had a death rattle rasping snore...... so lets' get the visuals going..this is ongoing, and the best of all....my chair would not budge into the reclining position either. I felt I was in the middle of a joke...wishing someone would pop out and just make it all better. The problem was, it didn't happen.

Other than that - suddenly realising how comfortable, home was. How good food tasted.. Who I had actually left behind, and when I was going to actually see them again. I promised to only feel sorry for myself for one hour, then it should be over.
I never saw USA before now, But I shall come, and I shall conquer.

The flight had been delayed due to the German vs Spain World Cup Soccer Game, some of the crew had watched, and just decided that they had to keep us in suspense, therefore the maintenance and safety check had not been carried out.. and the rewiring of the system was not finished..we were later told this, they rebooted the system, well all the controls in the cabin, about 3 times...the entire flight. That was reassuring. Somehow, grateful, I wasn't privy to all the complications. Clenching my teeth most of the way....19hrs is long!!

Food was average, however, rather bland, beef was a mixture of a textured woolen carpet, and possibly the lanolin, could have added some flavour ..but then again, that could also just have been my hormones..(later finding out I am pregnant)...I would chose Cathay Pacific any day, anytime, anywhere again and again...when it comes to perfection, they are the precise element of it. Somehow most of the passengers were also skipped when it came to meals. Most of us had to call attendants, to return to provide the meals-and also water, which they ran out of 4 hours before we reached Atlanta.

Needless to say, I was pleased and thankful to be out of that cabin, finally in Atlanta, safe and sound, a bit dehydrated and darn hungry. Only to notice the connecting flight to Tampa International....was delayed as well.

But as they say here: Yes, we can, everything is yes we can...don't matter how long it takes..yes we can...